OK so there I am, a member of a small but hardy band of men, women and children fighting for survival in a post-Apocolyptic England, a land largely submerged by flood water resulting from the melting of the polar ice caps and next door leaving their bath tap on when they'd gone on holiday. This is a world where land and sea beast are having to learn to co-operate and to live alongside each other, thereby strengthening their chances of ongoing survival in this harsh, watery world (although naturally, the Sea Beasts don't so much mind the water). To help promote these feelings of togetherness, man and Sea Beast had organised a game of football - a match destined to be the most poignant since the Allies and Axis famously put aside their differences one famous Christmas Eve during the Great War, and faced each other on No-Man's Land to enjoy a good kick about.
Unbelievably, after 89 minutes of rough and tumble, exciting, end to end but scoreless football, Graham Poll awarded the Sea Beasts a very dubious penalty (a blatant dive by the No.9, a Bottle Nosed Dolphin) which is to be taken by the Octopus which itself has put in a fine shift at left back, getting up and down the left flank tirelessly, contributing to attack as well as holding firm in defence. However, one or two of it's tentacles got caught in the grass as it ran up to strike the ball, and consequently, the Octopus succeeded only in gently pushing the ball into the hands of our goalkeeper, the geezer who runs our local chippy. Enraged by it's teammate's incompetence, the Giant Squid spat his dummy good and proper, promptly spraying several players and Poll with black ink and refusing to walk when subsequently shown the red card. The match descended into chaos with lots of pushing and shoving, general handbags and recrimination, before the full time whistle sounded and each participant returned to their camp, tired and dejected.
Any Dream Interpreters out there that could perhaps shed some light?
A little underwhelming all told, and consequently it looks like the strong weekend of a week ago has succeeded only in bringing the month up to the break even point as opposed to representing a platform upon which could be built a winning month. I guess we'll know for sure later this week.
Northern Monkey's Sunday afternoon at the football may not have worked out as he might have hoped, but he didn't have a bad time as far as tipping goes, Friday's bet producing just a sliver of profit from finishing second and Saturday's being a nice winner Diamond Charlie - Lingfield - 4/1).
Staked 2pts, +2.525pts
No Arsenal related jokes from On The Nose this weekend, but then no 8/1 winners either. Mind you, weren't so far away with the one selection on Saturday (Duke of Lucca - Kempton - 12/1) which having been backed each way, finished third. No joy on Friday (0/3) or yesterday (0/1).
Staked 3.5pts, -1.5pts
It's been a very quiet month generally for The Sportsman Racing, but we did see one bet over the weekend which finished in the frame and resulted in just a very small deficit.
Staked 0.5pts, -0.075pts
A nice winner at last this month for Winning Racing Tips who backed two horses in the same race on Saturday, one of them finishing first (Annacotty - Chepstow - 5/1). The bet on Friday, like that of Northern Monkey, finished in the places for a tiny profit.
Finally on the nags, 4PA's month finished as it started, a little limply, with no returns from two selectons on Saturday. March should be a big one though, what with Cheltenham and all.
On to the sports side of the portfolio.
Qudos to James of Summer Of Football who dealt with trans-oceanic travel, different time zones and attending a conference to still provide members with three tips. Friday's was a winner (Nimes to bt Istre at 1.84), and Saturday's provided a half winner and a loser. I bet James slept well when he got home!
Staked 3pts, +0.34pts
The travails of Sportyy continued. There weren't any bets over Saturday and Sunday, but Friday saw another loss as only one bet from four came in. This is a worrying run now and unfortunately, thus far, it has really dragged down the whole portfolio performance this month. More on this later this week, and in the meantime, let's hope the next few days bring some winners to reduce the damage.
Staked 8pts, -3.568pts
Just one bet for The Sportsman which returned stakes.
Staked 0.15pts, N/A
Saturday was a decent day for Football Elite with two winners from four, but unfortunately almost all the profit made was given back by two losers on Sunday. Good winners on Saturday though (Hannover to bt Hamburg at 2.75 and Norwich to bt Everton at 3.5).
Staked 6pts, +0.125pts
A solid enough weekend again for The Football Analyst, with the one 7-22 bet coming up nicely (Notts Forest (DNB) vs Charlton at 2.04), and E3-E7 finding one winner from two home bets on Saturday (Augsburg to bt Hoffenheim at 2.23). The one E3-E7 away bet on Sunday was a loser.
Staked 1.75pts, +0.385pts
Finally, as he said himself, this weekend represented a return to the Twilight Zone for Skeeve. The Asian bet was a loser, as were the two doubles. It shouldn't be forgotten though that it's been a strong month for Skeeve. Let's hope he can end the season well.
Staked 10pts, -10pts
Finally, subscribers to The Value Bettor and to the SBC will be aware of Andrew's decision to terminate the service for this season. Having met Andrew and having swopped many emails since, I consider him a friend. I would like to pass on my best wishes to Andrew and very much hope he will be back soon.