Intrigue.

OK, how's this for a plot for a novel or a film script?...

41 year old father of two, quietly living in the suburbs, becomes the victim of identity theft. What starts out as a relatively harmless irritation, such as having three new mobile 'phone accounts opened in his name, soon takes a turn for the worse. Sinister calls are received as our unwitting hero is slowly but surely dragged into a sordid world of Russian underworld gangsters, drug trafficking and illegal arms dealing. Soon, the heroic family man is embroiled in a fraught fight for both his own and his family's survival, all ending in a thrilling climax involving high speed car chases and a frantic rendezvous with mysterious foreign agents.

Yes, I'm sure you've guessed it by now. I am the quiet-living father of two described above. OK, I admit, I've not yet become embroiled in fighting Russian gangsters but some bastard has opened three new mobile 'phone accounts in my name and I have had a call from some number in Russia. I admit, that call might just be a coincidence but who knows? I might have an exciting weekend ahead.

Anyway, all this is an explanation as to why this is tonight's blog post. I've got to rush home, get my footie bets on, and then tootle along to the local police station, so I'm afraid I just don't have time to do all the figures tonight.

I have already 'phoned the station. I have an Incident number and apparently some geezer wants a quick chat. I'm to ask for a Boris Vostukovanev. Not sure where he's from...